If you want one powder to do it all, Unique is your friend. With Unique, you can load .38 Special, .357 Magnum, .45 ACP, .45 Colt, .44 Special, .44 Magnum, 9mm, .40 S&W....well, I'm getting long winded. Basically, any handgun or shotgun round should find an application for Unique.
That said, I've yet to load any .38 Specials with Unique. I've been loading them with a medium charge of Bullseye. It doesn't fill the case, so you'll probably want to stay away from it, given your requirements. I load my practice .357 Magnum loads with 6 grains of Unique and a 158 grain lead semi-wadcutter. For full power .357 Magnum ammo, I usually like to go with 2400 or Hogdon's Lil'gun powder and 158 grain jacketed hollow points.
As for primer, with Unique, a regular small pistol primer will do the job. I usually use Winchester because they're usually what I have around. I've also used Federal and CCI primers and I've come to the conclusion that a primer is a primer. Use a magnum primer if the powder requires it, but otherwise, I haven't really noticed any large difference in primers for regular handgun loads.